Best left Untitled
by time2FLY
Summary: a lot of bad things happening to different people. Simply for your entertainment
1. Chapter 1

Some Unhelpful Remarks and a warning.

* * *

Everything in this story is inaccurate. Everything in this story is also very silly and will most likely cause the reader to end up dead under their desks from the sheer dumbness radiating from this rather twisted recollection. If you are allergic to stupidity, randomness and insanity, please move to somewhere else. If you don't heed this warning now, and suffer severe head trauma later, I forbid you to sue me. I also forbid you to flame me.

Everything from here on is therefore your problem... good luck.

* * *

Usually recollections of the _Bleach_ are full of angsty love stories and dramatic fighting scenes. However, if you read enough of them here's what you come up with in the end:

Person 1 is the new kid in the class/plot/etc...

Person 2 spends his/her time trying to convince him/her -self that he/she doesn't like person 1

Person 2 fails.

Person 1 likes person 2

Person 1&2 get into extremely awkward situations while extremely large crowds are watching.

Person 2 like person 1 back.

The end.

Hatred. Pure Hatred.

Trust me(or rather don't trust me, many people who have trusted me over the years have ended up dead), this story is totally deprived of any love scenes and dramatic fights that involve people coming back to life after they have been through the equivalent of being shot through the chest a few times, run over by a tank, and detonated by an extremely large hand grenade, after soaking in a vat of gasoline for a good day, or two. (OR, for you people who know the plot already, a nice big cero.)

This fic, is a series of very bad things happening to many different people in turn simply for your enjoyment. Soon, war is going to be a sport, video taped, shot, and played on TV. Why? 'cause people ALWAYS like to watch (read about) other people get(ting) hurt.

This, is not that bad.

It's pretty close though.

Let's start.

* * *

Chapter 1: Insanity in Las Hueco Mundo

In Las Noches, there are three different types of insanity, a) insane-genius insanity b) insane-masochist/unnecessary violence insanity and c) the insanity that deprives from drinking too much tea, and eating too many biscuits.

Szayel Aporro Grantz, is the only being in all dimensions that agrees with himself that being a guy, and having pink hair is perfectly fine.

One day, or night,( for it was always night in Las Noches- which means 'The Nights',) Szayel blew up his lab, for maybe the thirtieth time that day(night). He peeled himself off the wall, straightened his lab coat(I might add that it wasn't really a lab coat anymore, it was just blackened remains of what used to be one) and continued whatever he was doing in the middle of the hallway.

And he was still smiling.

Szayel was an mildly insane genius who regularly practiced cannibalism, wore a pair of lens-less glasses, and looked like a badly malformed peacock in his second form. Again, he was a genius, and he was mildly insane, don't forget that.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaques stomped around Las Noches, he was angry, as usual. He wasn't angry at anyone or anything in particular, just angry. As usual. This type of anger originates from a mixture of annoyance, name calling, cursing, extreme idiocy, and a hangover. What a hell of a hangover...

Halibel passed by him,

"Who looked at you the wrong way this time?"

Grimmjow replied not-graciously (looks like this : #$*($^$%^ etc...).

Halibel shook her head and headed down to one of the many kitchens to find some red meat. (for those who don't know, she's like a shark)

It's never good to be angry at everything and everybody, because you can't just go out and beat up everyone and everything. Especially in Las Noches. If you attacked an Espada, you got beat up and thrown out a window, if you attacked the wall, and Espada would come and beat you up, than throw you out the window, if you attacked a normal arrancar, they would create enough commotion to get an Espada there to beat you up and toss you out a window.

Grimmjow was Espada number six, so only five other people in Las Noches could throw him out a window. He still didn't like falling, or more specifically, he didn't like landing. For falling isn't painful, landing is, the only reason falling is scary is because you are thinking about landing, which you know will be painful. The only reason that Grimmjow knew this is because he was thrown out windows with a depressing regularity.

So if you were angry and needed to exhaust yourself doing something, you could either swim with sharks, stomp around or try to fly. Two of which would get you killed.

Grimmjow was an example insanity "b)" He was extremely violent and sadistic. He had random impulses to killing things. He was an expert on how to cause pain and practiced it often. He was scared of water, enjoyed fish, and took immediate liking to balls of yarn. He hated laser pointers and wore makeup. He was also profoundly stupid.

Are you still alive?

No? fine.

Yes? Great! Keep reading.

Grimmjow stomped into the Szayel's lab. Or rather, he stomped into the hallway outside Szayel's lab where everything from the lab was lying overturned. Szayel was having fun pouring different color liquids over a strangely colored something. That something was moving. That something stood up, screamed for a while, ran into a wall and died testily.

"What," said Grimmjow,"the hell was that?"

"That, was a failed experiment" admitted Szayel, "I'm trying to recreate an experiment conducted long ago that involves paper clips, Seltzer water and a flashlight."

"and that's what happened?"

"well... there are many different ways to combined the three."

"yeah?"

"mm hmm."

"What does it do"

"noone knows"

"why?"

"noone's survived it yet."

"what happened?"

"oh, the usual. You look silly for a while. Then you die."

"What makes you think you can do it?"

"I'm perfect"

"...damn you"

Grimmjow stomped away.

Now, you might be wondering where was insanity "c)" for those who don't know, that's Aizen, and he's pretty much insane. I came to the conclusion after sitting in a coffee house (with free internet) for two hours watching my brother trying to do something in his laptop. The people there acted about as sane as an emu on acid. Especially the people who drank tea.

Here's his story:

Once upon a time, there was a really nice guy named Sosuke Aizen. Well, he was really nice, he was a charming, fatherly person who you would just love to meet. Oh, he also hates you, and me, and basically everyone who opposes his plan of killing them. Even if you were okay with being killed, he still hated you, and would kill you.

One day, Aizen went ahead and faked his death, and made his vice-captain hysterical with sadness and remorse and guilt etc... he also played a mean joke on her and succeeded in getting her to attempt to kill one of her dearest friends.

Well he killed her anyway so it doesn't matter anymore.

This has absolutely nothing to do with tea and biscuits at all. Perhaps he wouldn't have killed all of his loyal subordinates to test the strength of one of his many enemies who would probably eventually kill him, or try to destroy the soul society with a three person army, fail miserably, cause a lot of emotional nonsense and then manage to leave with some dignity, _if_ he didn't eat so many biscuits and drink so much tea.

* * *

Perhaps this is bad for your sanity.

we'll try again later.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm afraid that I might kill someone else...

go ahead and press that back button if you don't think you can take another dose of stupidity...

* * *

The Soul society was a place where Martin Luther King would have died of shock..

In effect, The Soul Society was a place where the slightest ideal of equality didn't exist. Want proof? Here:

The Soul Society was set up like this. If you were born(died) in district 1, you were pretty much set for life, or death. District 1 was a nice place, full of wonderful streets, and wonderful flowers, and wonderful houses, and lawns, and cute little dogs, and streetlamps, and wonderful souls of dead people. You were set for a good life.

If you were born in District 80, the rest of your life(death) would be pretty short if you weren't paranoid to an insane extent. I really mean paranoid to an insane extent. When was the last time you walked down the street and saw people fitted with an security/alarm system, and a couple hundred guns and a collection of knives you would only see in the museum of diseased imaginings?

Those were just the tourists. The people who lived there, however were much worse. Half of them were axe murderers and the other half were either some type of ninja or serial killer. All of them made a living killing people, or more specifically, killing (other) people in district 80. The point we're trying to get across here is that you can run around screaming, spout nonsense, go cross-eyed and blither, etc... and someone will eventually approach you and ask: "Have you visited District 80 lately?" and then feel sorry for as you fall over in shock, insanity, or District 80. If you were born in District 80, you were set for life (death). You were set for a pretty bad life (death), but you were set, until someone found you, and killed you.

I am going to talk to you about someone from District 80. He has no name. He just has an unnatural craving for blood and a rusty sword that screams. He also has a little kid that sits on his shoulder and abuses his neck muscles. He eventually gave himself a name. This was his name: Kenpachi Zaraki.

Let's skip to present time...

you have another chance to press that back button!

no? fine, read at your own risk :)

Now, Kenpachi was not a very sweet guy at all. You can tell that he wants kill you just by looking at him through a telescope. He has this huge grin that takes up half his face and you can tell something bad happened during his childhood. His vice-captain(the little kid who sits on his shoulder and abuses his neck muscles) is a sweet little thing that is about ten times shorter then Kenpachi and will also kill you if you mess with her. She is also always smiling. She smiles a real smile that makes people want to just hug her. And when they do she takes her cute little self and her cute little sword and skewers them on fence posts very painfully.

Please remember nothing mentioned in this piece so far is true.

Before you die, listen to this.

Kenpachi is the captain of the 11th division. He is a good leader and likes getting almost-killed in battle. He is always grinning that grin of his, and he wears bells in his hair. For some strange reason he always wants his enemies to hear the bells and try to carve him up.

As you already know. He is an example of a mental case. He is completely insane, bonkers, completely lost it. He must have broken his brain while trying to defeat the bogeyman (who is imaginary, but to insane people they can be very real). Here's a typical day in the Soul Society:

… tweet tweet....hmmm....dumm....de...dum- OH SHIT ZARAKI HERE RUUNN!!!*people run about screaming*

...Aannd cut!

You get the idea don't you?

And Kenpachi's not even their enemy?

What do you think of that?

One day, the 11th division was practicing their ruthlessness on a band of Gillians (really huge dumb hollows that shuffled around in circles)

"Zaraki sir!"

Kenpachi was happily dicing up the already dead Gillian that he had killed. He didn't hear a thing.

"Zaraki sir!" continued whoever was saying "Zaraki sir!" quite frantically and was beginning to become nervous.

The message he was delivering was not a good one, and would probably end in his death. The messenger didn't want to die. He was here to deliver paperwork...

"WHAT!" Shouted Kenpachi "DO YOU WANT"

The shouting didn't shout too terrifying because the air was so shredded (pun of 'rent with screams') with screams that it was only logical thing to do if you wanted others to hear you.

"I'm here -um- to deliver-um-" twittered the messenger nervously

"WHAT!?" shouted Kenpachi. The Hollow he was killing quickly committed suicide and tried to find a hedge to die under. Because there were no hedges in Hueco Mundo he looked for a tree. Since there were no trees either, the Hollow finally made up it's mind that it was going to die under a rock, then realized that it was already dead and couldn't go and die anywhere else then there. The Hollow's mind blanked out when it realized this and it went ahead and turned into gross moldy, bloody, pulp.

"uh..."

"WHAT?!"

"I HAVE YOUR PAPERWORK!"

"BURN IT!"

"WHAT?!"

"I SAID BURN THE PAPERWORK!"

The messenger wanted to live, so he burned it.

The messenger, you see, was a very sensible little messenger. but after he burned the paperwork he was killed by the Soul Society's paper control center for doing what he was bid. I guess the only moral that can be scraped up from this Fic is "Don't be Kenpachi Zaraki's paperwork carrier person, because death in inevitable." but sometimes that can't be helped. We always have to sentence someone to death don't we? It's human nature. We simply HAVE to do something so cruel to someone that it would disfigure hell.

Thank goodness we're not there yet. I want to die before the insane scientists (I mean really insane, not just Szayel insane) figure out how to make wars bigger and bloodier and etc... (whatever other bad things you can think of). Oh well. It doesn't matter.

---belated warning. the Pharagraph above makes absolutely no sense. please don't try to understand it or you will end up like Kenpachi...or maybe even Itachi*

* * *

If death occurs please consult your doctor...

thanks for reading :)

*Itachi is a character from _Naruto_ that I don't really like...his eyes bleed.


	3. Chapter 3

here we go...

this one's about Ulquiorra's emo-ness. Don't worry no bloody wrist cutting scenes ;)*wink*

* * *

Do you have a beach house?

yes? no?

It doesn't matter.

I was once told that one of the best ways to relax, was to get a beach house.

A beach house might not be what you think it is.

It is a place very near the border of two elements. Sky, water. Earth, water. don't try earth, air. It's really boring. not a good way to relax.

The philosophy is, 'sit on one side, and look at the other.'

It is very relaxing.

why?

Because you can watch all these bad things happen and know that you don't need to care. You're just a spectator.

The best beach houses, however, are on the beach.

The Desert is only beautiful when you are sitting somewhere nice and cool holding a reassuring cup of water(one side) and watching whatever you see in the desert, die of heat, boredom, or needing water to survive(other side). The desert is _not _ beautiful when you are struggling your way through it panting, sweltering, and altogether dying, under the horrible midday sun.

Maybe Hueco Mundo would have been a cheerier place if there were a sun. But there wasn't, so there was no sweltering heat to flounder through. Hueco Mundo would also be nicer if there were pretty trickly streams, and nice little trees that positively sang when you walked by them. But there wasn't. So Hueco Mundo wasn't a very nice place.

This is what Hueco Mundo is:

A wonderful place, where no life exists and huge monsters try to kill other huge monsters in the background. The wind picks up some sand and throws it into your eyes, because it just loves you that much. There is no sun, only the moon, which has it's own beach house. the moon sits up in the heavens and watches all the bloody bloodshed. And it laughs, thanking the big bang that it wasn't that much closer to the tortured world below.

Back to the sun

or lack of sun.

The lack of sun gave the place a distinctive gloom. The gloom was distinctive, and got more distinctive as you approached the huge dome in the middle of the desert(where there are no trees or shrubs to die under). The distinctive gloom was radiating from a distinctively gloomy person. Guess...

Yup, number four

Skip to the next paragraph if you already know who he is:

Number four, is better known as the 4th Espada. The Espada are this ten person army that serve Aizen. Aizen was this really nice person who you need to read about at the end of chapter one. There are ten people in the ten person army. More specifically there is one demented peacock, a shark, a (sleeping) log, a fish-tank, a cat, a bat, a spoon, your grandpa, and two thugs from some gang down in Africa. That's the Espada for you. Now I would end the paragraph here, but I promised that I would fit this all into one group. Here we go. Number four's name was Ulquiorra Cifer. He looked like a crying girl. He had big green eyes, scruffy hair, and could beat the crap out of you. He hates you, and Grimmjow, and Ichigo, and Orhime, and... basically everyone. Except, of course, Aizen. He knew he'd probably get killed if he said: "Aizen, I hate you, I really passionately despise you and hope you die in a hole."(again, I apologize for my paragraphs) He also hated Halloween. Everyone would start screaming about the walking dead if they saw him during Halloween. Hey? Weren't they all walking dead?

I assume if you are reading this, you aren't dead.

Right.

I assume if you are reading this, you are either alive, or the walking dead, which apparently have brains... uh...

Ulquiorra was typing on one of Szayel's computers. Szayel's computers were special. There were special in a way that they had personalities, and could drive you insane with pop-ups when you pissed them off.

Ulquiorra was typing on the fiftieth computer in the long line of computers that were in the long line. All forty-nine of the computers preceding the fiftieth computer, were busted, smoking the smoke of death.

Ulquiorra finished typing and pressed the enter button.

The enter button belonged to a computer with a insanely happy disposition. It gurgled and bubbled with excitement and enthusiasm as it was typed on. It loved absolutely everybody that it ever made contact with. I also loved everybody who it didn't make contact with or even knew. It even loved all those fake people on facebook. That was a lot of love. It loved, and loved and loved, until Ulquiorra sent whatever he was typing to the CPU, to be read by the computer.

The Computer made a decision.

We will come to the decision in a moment.

First...

The modem exploded,

The monitor cracked

The hard drive leapt out, and set itself on fire.

Forty-nine computers fell over.

...and Szayel frowned.

"why," Hyperventilated Szayel, "are you destroying my computers?"

"I'm not" said Ulquiorra placidly, "they just exploded."

Szayel gave him a doubtful look and looked at the forty-nine busted computers. Then he gave another doubtful look to the fiftieth computer.

"what did you do?"

"I typed"

"what did you type"

"...words."

"What did the words say, Ulquiorra." inquired Szayel with infinite patience. Which was of course fake. He wanted to rip Ulquiorra's head off, grind it into powder and put it into Aizen's tea..

"The words were not commands to explode, and do it messily"

"uh huh... go on"

"The words were not commands to do something really hard either"

"hmmm"

"The words - "

"Stop it! What did you tell them!"

"I explained to them my view on life."

"yeah?"

"They all committed suicide."

"uh..."

He-who-had-a-bad-view-on-life, trudged out of the room, muttering hypocrisy, blasphemy and his view on life.

* * *

Typical huh? ever had your day ruined when someone who apparently had a bad life come up to you and completely douse you in sadness?

I havn't

If you have, feel with the happy(dead) computer.

--Jess


	4. Chapter 4

chapter four... just as bad as the past three.

* * *

Loneliness,

Is the best thing in the world.

You gain perspective, patience and discover what you want to do with your life.

when you lose loneliness,

you gain everything.

Including what you gained during your period of loneliness.

No, this is not about loneliness. Neither is it about friendship, or happiness, or sticky romance.

It's a good solid piece of violence that is caused simply because your enemy happens to be nearby.

But let's stick with loneliness for a bit.

Ichigo never knew loneliness.

Maybe that's why he was so violent and impulsive.

Maybe that's why he has no sense of perspective.

Maybe that's why he's living his life for other people's safety. Which, I think, is a thoroughly ridiculous practice. People have to fend for themselves! or have a lot of other people fend for them while the defendees (people being defended) stand staring for a good hour muddling through pointless mental gobbledygook(nonsense).

It's never a good story when you tell it about someone who knew loneliness, or in fact, defendees -- they all become fangirls(or boys).

They're too placid, patient and un-ridiculous.(Fangirls/boys are always the invincible crowd of mindless monkeys that want to do bad bad things to the character the are fan girl/boy-ing over. Therefore you can't write a story about them. Can pick this up later...?)

Ichigo never knew loneliness.

One day, a violent strawberry walked down the streets of the Soul society.

He was humming his violent strawberry song, and was walking to his own violent strawberry pace.

The violent strawberry's name was Ichigo.

He is violent. He's not a strawberry.

He carries around a sword that's three feet taller than you.

He can kill you.

He will kill you if you insult one of his girlfriends.

Stay away from his girlfriends.

Again.

One day, Ichigo was walking down a street. He wasn't looking for anything in particular, just a walk down the street, and perhaps some trouble.

He got his trouble.

Somewhere on the other side of the city where he happened to be, Grimmjow was abusing his gigai (sp?).

He was trying to break into a bank.

All the cops knew his(gigai's) face, and were extremely puzzled by it.

His face wasn't weird, he was, and people recognize you by your face. If you are weird, your face is weird, no matter how normal you think your face is.

So the cops were puzzled by Grimmjow.

They thought he was a complete lunatic.

Insane. And needed to find a fantastic way to blow himself up so the world would be a better place.

The sad part is not that the cops thought of all this, after all I thought of this story and Tite Kubo thought of bleach, but that it was true.

very sad.

why is Grimmjow breaking into a bank?

not for money, but, I suppose you could say... for fun...

Everyone has fetishes you see.

Orhime liked to whine. Uryuu liked to sew. Aizen liked to drink tea. Gin liked to look creepy. Ulquiorra liked to cut himself. Chad liked being mexican. I like to be the writer of extremely dumb stories...

and...

Grimmjow liked to break into banks.

Just break into them. It was impulsive, whenever he saw a well guarded facility he would break into it.

Banks happened to be very well guarded facilities. And they would be broken into. And whatever was being well guarded by the well guarded facility would be gallantly ignored.

This is how it would go, at say... noontime.

The wall of the well guarded facility would implode...

Grimmjow would walk in...

smile, wave,

turn around and yell profanities at the cops and growing crowd.

Leave.

So well guarded facility owners hated Grimmjow because he cost them thousands in shop(bank)(well-guarded facility) repairs.

Ichigo happened to be walking down the street that Grimmjow was destroying.

He ditched his body, (ie. Suddenly slumped over on the person in front of him) and flew at the blue-haired bank offender.

people formed a sympathetic circle around the seemingly dead Ichigo.

they were sympathetic until half of them were oliberated by a big invisible cero.

then they were a sympathetic crowd of raving mad lunatics, completely innocent people who have no clue what was going on besides that they were dead, and completely innocent people who noticed that they had suddenly lost a family member, Girl/Boy- friend, arm etc...

all of them were running around in and out of houses, or howling noiselessly at the noise.

It didn't really make sense. But hey? what does theses days?

Back to the impulsive bank offender and the violent strawberry.

The two (were) beat(ing) the hell out of each other. (see! No dramatic run-on sentence fight scenes. Although I'm pretty sure most of these "sentences" are either run-on's or fragments.)

People in the vicinity, who happened to wan't to see why they were running, and what from, stared in wonder as perfectly innocent, not-meant-to-be-turned-to-dust-yet buildings turned to dust and become hopelessly vandalized by invisible forces.

Grimmjow was taking his time beating up our violent strawberry who-is-not-a-strawberry

There was a lot of statistic laughter, screaming, cursing, screaming in pain, excess energy run-off, and a lot of birds, buildings, asphalts, people, being pulverized into nothing as invisible beams of supercharged something hummed through the air at random.

More statistic laughter.

A sugar crash.

And ten minutes in jail until Halibel was sent to drag him back to Las Noches.

Don't pity Ichigo or Grimmjow.

pity the cops.

* * *

and yes. You can't really write a story about fangirls/boys because they are often portrayed as one huge crowd of super-energetic monsters. You can't make them do anything funny because they lack shame, responsibility, decency, emotions(except for maybe sex appeal), and, obviously, brains. Well I guess you could, but the only thing you could do is make them run in random directions while holding a magazine and running as fast as you can.

That would be a very boring story...

Please don't ask for it.

* * *

hi. Wow. Wow that is so amazingly amazing that I think I'm going to steal it!

steal...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter concerning Gin, his warped(I warped it) past, and a small clippit from the present. This story starts out with a lot of description, the end is pathetic, because it cannot hold up the bulk of the top. it is like trying to balance an elephant on a pencil. The clippit(above) is small, and doesn't relate to anything at all in Gin's warped beginnings.

* * *

Gin Ichimaru was the kind of person who would smile, and send you scurrying away to hide beneath a rock. There wasn't too much to his smile. It was just slightly too broad, and perhaps held slightly too long, and the normal person would feel very uncomfortable sitting next to him on a long bus ride. The smile also had a tendency to make, those who at first didn't run away, (people) twitch. It also gave the impression that any moment now he would go for someone's throat.

Here's his story:

Gin Ichimaru, as a newly born(died) soul reaper, spent the first few moments of his life(death) accidentally killing an innocent crowd of bystanders. Don't ask how, it just happened.

He spent the first three years being blinded by the sun, the next five years on the run from the Soul society for killing one of their revered shinigami, I may add, that he was experiencing the after-effects of squinting for three years, caught, put in jail, released, arrested again etc...

...and for the fifteen years, Gin Ichimaru spent locked away in a small metal box, while musing about bad things in illegal states of mind. Finally, when the soul society decided it needed strong leaders, Gin was brought in, given the Captain's rank, and sent to explore the ladies' bathroom. After a few years of scaring fellow shinigami out of their fellow wits, Aizen decided to move to Hueco Mundo.

'great scenery!' he said...

Here's more of his story, with some setting and action:

It was morning in the soul society, and several billion tonnes of super-hot exploding hydrogen nuclei slunk up the sky, managing to look cold, small, and slightly damp. The sun shone down on the clouds, and figured that it wasn't going to go through the effort to break through them today. It was just going to let them go along their merry way. 12 hours of looking at the tops of clouds was quite boring for the sun as it sank, feeling that it had just experienced a complete waste of time and effort, if only there were tea and biscuits to go along with it then it would be feeling the same as Gin, and the other Espada were feeling now.

Aizen mind as well say... "would you like some tea and sugar with your waste of time?"

Gin was walking down the corridors of Las Noches smiling his fox-faced smile, and squinting the after-effects of squinting for too long. He wasn't really that happy at all in fact, you see, fake smiles were meant to hide emotions, and squinting was meant to hide whatever bright light was searing the cornea at the time; when the two mixed, you got a face that might as be a mask.

Anyway. Gin wasn't happy.

He didn't want tea with his waste of time.

He wanted to waste time practicing his smile, and trying to open his eyes while staring at the mirror.

But Aizen wanted him to waste his time drinking tea, so that was what would happen.

A voice broke into his thoughts.

"What the f**k does Aizen want now!"

"Probably nothing Grimmjow..."

"Again?"

"mmm"

"heh, but you're probably right emospada."

"mmm"

etc.. etc..

here's a look around the meeting table:

Stark was doing whatever he was always doing...(sleeping, for those who don't know. Actually everything is exaggerated in the fanfics. We are pretty sure that he doesn't sleep all the time, but we see him doing it a lot. I think the longest time we've seen him awake is when he gets killed.) Braggan was having a superiority complex again. Halibel was muttering to herself about what types of meat she liked. Ulquiorra was staring at the ceiling. Nnorita was staring at the floor. Grimmjow was preaching about all things violent, Zommari and Yammy were talking about which were the most effective gun to use in "(insert shooting game here)" Aaroniero(sp?) was talking to himself and Szayel was burning a hole in the granite table with something out of a test tube and chatting away to Stark(who wasn't listening, in fact, he wasn't even conscious) about the components of the granite-eating mystery substance.

There was a teapot in the middle of the table...

It was gallantly ignored, Szayel always spiked it with something...

Aizen gabbered to his heart's content, everyone else continued doing what they were doing in the paragraph above this one.

Around three hours later...(I know this type of thing is annoying and premature, one hour later... four hours later... ten years later... etc... but please, I don't want to write about the same scene for more than one paragraph and you don't want to read about the same scene for more than one paragraph...)

The victims of 'Aizen's incredibly boring speeches' staggered out of the room and went back to wasting time the way they wanted to. Szayel, who was apparently doing something very important sonido-ed back to his lab to continue whatever he was doing before. Gin decided to stick with the crowd and see what they talked about. The 10 people walked down a rather dejective(gloomy?) looking hallway. It was probably Ulquiorra again...

"Hey Gin... _yawwwwnnn_"

"humm... hello? Yes?"

"did Aizen say anything important?... you know apart from the normal, real-estate lecture, brainwash- lecture, attitude- lecture, etc...?"

"mmm no..."

"alright... _ yawwwnnn_..."

stomp...stomp...stomp...stomp...

"AWWW C'mon! I missed that episode from (a favorite TV show)... Halibel what are you doing?"

"what'cha staring at Grimmjow... om nom nom..."

"do you mind putting that collar back up...

"yes... nom nom... I refuse to do anything for anyone's convenience."

Szayel had come back, he wore a smile more disturbing than Gin's. He held a test tube gingerly ten feet away from him by use of modified 'test tube holders'. a bit of the mystery substance sloshed sickenly on to a vase that was placed there for just that reason, and exploded into flames, before imploding into a tiny speck of nothing.

"...oh my god Szayel"

"Hey, It's not what it seems..."

"is that going into our tea?"

"..."

*_Dangerous silence_*

Gin, instead of just waiting there, staring, to see what kind of horrible thing Mr. bubblegum-hair wanted to do to them, went to find Ulquiorra (who had flown out a window when Szayel offered to pour the mystery substance down his throat), hopefully he had something strong for headaches and a good dose of anti-depressants.

Lesson learned: don't spend time with the espada, don't listen to what they talk about. Don't take drugs, Don't take the drugs Szayel offers you. don't kill people (author gabbers him/her self into non-existance)

* * *

hi, I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

someone tell me what the difference between hits, and visitors are?

please...


End file.
